Battle of Cupcakes
by disny07
Summary: While working on a new case, Sam and Dean are given a cupcake. Both are extremely hungry, and are willing to do anything to get it. With Castiel as mediator, things just get worse...


"Dean, I am not kidding anymore. Give me the cupcake! Or else," Sam ordered.

Dean laughed and said, "What are you gonna do? Use your freaky psychic demon-blood powers on me?"

"...maybe!"

"Oh, I am so scared!" Dean replied sarcastically.

"I want the cupcake!"

"Well, so do I! And I'm hungry!"

"Dude, you had pig in a poke for breakfast this morning! I had nothing. I am hungry!!!" Sam cried in outrage.

"You owe me," Dean stated.

"What?" Sam asked, honestly confused.

"You owe me!"

"For what?"

"I saved your ass like 39 times today!"

"What else is new? It's part of your job. I am younger than you. I need nourishment. I'm still a growing boy!"

"Sasquatch, can you get any taller?"

Sam sighed, hunger really starting to get to him. Dean continued, "You caused the Apocalypse. You know who doesn't get cupcakes? People who cause the freaking Apocalypse!"

"Dean. We have been over this a thousand times!" Sam shouted. He was really on the verge of punching Dean in the face now. Dean nodded his head.

"Ok. You're right. I'm sorry. I guess I can't entirely blame you. Who would have thought killing Lilith would have been bad? But…" he got a weird look on his face and slyly finished, "…I don't really care what you say, cuz I am getting that cupcake no matter what."

"What makes you so sure?" Sam questioned.

Dean gave Sam his mischievous smile and whispered, "I have the Angel Network."

Sam glared at his brother as Dean happily took out his cell phone called out to Castiel. A few moments later, the Angel of Hotness appeared.

"Hello Dean. Sam." Castiel greeted lifelessly.

"Hi Castiel," Sam grunted, pretty sure that he had lost the fight.

"Hey Cas!" Dean greeted in return. "We need your help. We-"

"-Are fighting over who gets the cupcake." Castiel cut in.

"How did you know?" Sam asked.

"It is my job to watch over you two. Do you think I wouldn't notice an argument over a cupcake that has been going on for 5 hours?" He explained.

"It's possible. You didn't seem to notice us when we were fighting the horror movie shape shifter." Dean replied.

"Dean, if you can't handle shape shifter Dracula, you don't deserve the cupcake." Castiel informed him. Sam gave a large smile and stuck his tongue out at Dean.

"Sorry Cas. So... who gets the cupcake?" Dean asked carefully.

"You do realize you called me away from finding information on killing Lucifer to serve as mediator for your argument, right?"

"...yes."

Castiel stared at the two with a look of extreme annoyance. After what seemed like hours, he suggested, "How about we compromise?"

"Since when do angel's compromise?!" Sam blurted out, hardly able to contain his amusement. He quickly shut up though. Castiel shot him one of his terrifyingly effective death stares, and even Sam knew not to mess with him. Dean however, chose to ignore it. As usual.

"So Cas… you really gonna give the cake to someone who just associated you with those dicks with wings?"

"How many times have YOU referred to Castiel as that, Dean?" Sam snapped.

Castiel slowly turned to Dean, a look of strained anger and pain on his face. After all, he and Dean were friends now, right? Heck, Dean was his only real friend at the moment. If Sam was telling the truth… At last he managed to ask, "Is that so?"

Dean shook his head in protest. "No! Never… would I do that?"

"Yes," Castiel replied after a moment. Whether or not he had said it lately was debatable. But it went without saying that Dean would have said it at least once. "I suppose Sam could get the whole cupcake after all," he continued harshly. Dean was panicking now.

"… Cas? I… it was before you became cool!"

"I always thought you were cool." Sam chimed in.

"No one likes a kiss ass Sam," Castiel stated, taking yet another page out of Dean's book. Sam and Dean were both shocked to see that Castiel was trying his best to supress a small smile.

"… You're messing with us!" Sam accused. Castiel just shrugged.

"The best choice would be to split the pastry in half. That way you could both get some," Castiel decided, praying that would satisfy the two Winchesters. Unfortunately, Castiel has never been that lucky. The two jumped up in rage, complaining about hunger and throwing insults at one another. After a few moments of this, Castiel had finally had enough.

"You know what?! Neither of you deserve the cupcake!!! Maybe if you two could get along, or at the very least compromise, you would be worthy of its delicious flavor. But can you?! NO!!! So, neither of you will! Get it?"

Shocked, the two Winchesters could only stare in horror at the usually stoic angel. Finally they replied in solemn unison, "…Got it."

"Good!" With that, Castiel grabbed the cupcake and vanished into thin air.

Sam and Dean sat at the table in silence for a while. The cupcake was gone, and both were starving. Finally, Dean looked up at his younger brother and said, "This is why you never got the extra cookie."

* * *

So... this was a story I wrote for my friend Lexi, based on a tiny little bit part in another story I wrote her. Obviously, it expanded. i hope ya'll like it! It is not meant to be taken seriously, and yet I can see it happening too.

Whose side were you on?


End file.
